PAINSYNC
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On a very personal level, “PAINSYNC” chronicles the last fifteen years of my life--which, needless to say, hasn't been easy. If you have ever felt driven to action in times of chaos, there might be something here for you. Truth be told, “PAINSYNC” was intended to be released to coincide with my gender confirmation surgery on September 10th, 2019, but it ended up taking a lot longer than I anticipated. This is primarily due to many unexpected post-op complications that left me in tremendous debilitating pain for over seven months. My life during this time was for lack of a better term--a body horror. All of the lyrics for “PAINSYNC” were written during this period.
In terms of technical prowess, I learned A LOT over the last year and a half. Thanks to some reading, a lot of experimenting, and touching base with other producers I was able to take harsh recordings from my 2019 sessions and clean them up into a listenable state. Writing songs is one thing. Music production is something else entirely. As time goes on I will definitely improve as there is still so much for me to learn. I am really looking forward to the future because of this.
“PAINSYNC” isn’t some shiny #wtfbbq darksynth release chock full of wonderful hi-tech production values. I wrote all of these songs before I learned to streamline my process. That said, I am very proud of this album. I think that “PAINSYNC” represents the best work I have done to date. And even if it is chock full of flaw on the production side of things, the songs are right where they need to be.
If I had to describe “PAINSYNC” it’s like a Western interpretation of late 1990s Japanese Visual Kei, crossed with Synthwave, Coldwave, and Gothic Rock/Metal. Fans of Depeche Mode, Malice Mizer, Christian Death, Tangerine Dream, and Cradle of Filth might find something to enjoy here.
The cover artwork is by the fantastic Atom Cyber. Even though his artwork may seem explicit, please understand that it depicts a version of what I went through last year. I purposely chose Atom because he was the only artist capable of fully encapsulating what it meant for me to live through such an invasive and painful surgery...as well as the horrific recovery that followed.
My surgeon says I need to settle down
As she cuts into my flesh
Turning my everything inside out
My legs are spread and splayed
No parts do I grieve.
I am a throne of wounds
Torn apart from my Adam to Eve.
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